Split Families Two

Well, she's done it again: today is the day AFTER Christmas, and my son still doesn't have his son. Now we have to pick the boy up at 10 AM this morning. Connor has again missed out on celebrating Christmas with his father's family, and will have it alone later today. For the record, I went back into our calendar and my photo albums, and verified that the only holiday that Ryan has had Connor since Thanksgiving of 2014 was on the Fourth of July, even though six of the holidays this year fell on weekends when he was supposed to have him anyway. And not only has she succeeded in preventing Connor from spending time with his father, she even turns the situation around and blames Ryan for the last-minute change. Unbelievable.  Then she tried to tell Ryan that he had Connor on Thanksgiving, so that meant that she should have Connor for all of Christmas. P.S. he did not have Connor on Thanksgiving - or Halloween, or Labor Day, or even my birthday last March.   She must think we are all idiots. A Court-order visitation schedule is the only option left.  I hope Ryan files the paperwork soon. This all needs to be in writing. She doesn't know how to share, nor does she play well with others.

Split Families

I have two grandsons. Each one is the only biological cousin to the other. My older grandson has parents who are divorced.  His mother is my younger son's former wife. They have legal joint custody on paper, but in fact, my son's ex-wife takes complete control over decisions. On paper, they are supposed to share visitation on major holidays like Christmas, but in fact, we have not seen our grandson for a major holiday since Thanksgiving of 2014.  As a result, he has not seen his younger, and only, cousin in more than a year.  Until my son can take her back to court and force her to change the way she treats him and their son, this is likely to continue. She seems to go out of her way to deny our grandson the opportunity to share celebrations with his father's family, and to get to know his paternal blood relatives. She also changes plans at the last minute, and never seems to be able to make a definite commitment as to pick-up time until the morning of, often resulting is disruption to our schedule and/or our plans.  She did it again today, which is Christmas Day, when our son was supposed to pick up his son at noon.  Suddenly, she needs to have their son with her as she travels from place to place today, and now my son can't pick up his son until this evening, when Christmas is virtually over and the rest of our family is gone. The boy again has missed another chance to see his cousin, as that family comes to us on Christmas Eve, and leaves on Christmas Day to go to my daughter-in-law's family.  2016 is a Leap Year, meaning that the next Christmas will fall on a Sunday. If the planning goes right, my son will have his son on that weekend. Then we may finally get the celebration we have been wishing for. One can only hope.

Electronic Cards

    
I've decided that I don't like eCards. You can't touch them; you can't hold them; you can't save them.  You can print them out, but it just isn't the same as receiving one in the mail. Real cards cost money, the stamp used to mail them also costs money.  That makes real cards a gift, and one that gives joy to the person receiving it. I don't think I will ever send an eCard to anyone, unless it's an invitation to a spur-of-the-moment party or something like that, but if it's an important party, like a wedding or anniversary celebration, I will always send a real card. I love all my friends and family, and my bought-and-mailed cards to them are my gift to them. I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way.
 

The Problem with Democrats

      I watched the second Democrat Debate last night-well, some of it-and continue to be amazed that the candidates still can't call our enemy what it is: radical Islam. Mrs. Clinton did refer to the terrorists as Jihadists, which is about as close as anyone got to labeling them at all, but let's face it: if we can't identify them, how can we even fight them, much less defeat them? France, a N.A.T.O. ally, has just  been savagely attacked by these radical religious extremists, and still the Democrats insist that this is someone else's fight. 
      These monsters have demonstrated again and again that they want to rid to  world of "Infidels", and are willing to die to accomplish that.  If we are going to defeat them, we have to be willing to do the same. Meanwhile, Mr. Obama has been cutting back on the size and abilities of our military forces at the very time that we need to be stronger, not weaker.  Ironically, here in Connecticut, our illustrious chapter of the AFL-CIO has asked their national organization to organize a boycott of and divestment in Israel, a sovereign nation and our only true ally in the Middle East, which has to defend itself regularly from Palestinian terrorists who also want to wipe Israel off the map . Unbelievable.   I think I am going to boycott the AFL-CIO.  Mr. Hollande said it right: France is at war. May God bless them in their fight.

The joy of Family

A son of a cousin of mine got married recently - in Spain. When my cousin first told me about it, I was pretty sure I would not be able to go.  In the first place, it's hugely expensive, and going to Spain for a weekend didn't seem like a good way to spend my hard-earned money, even for a dearly loved cousin.  In the second place, I hate flying, and the thought of spending seven or eight hours in a plane with several hundred other people left me cold, to say the least. In the third place, we really couldn't afford for both my husband and me to go, and I didn't feel up to traveling in a foreign country by myself, especially when I didn't know the language. But two things happened that made me rethink my situation.  First, John didn't want to go anyway, having been to Spain years ago and not being in the least interested in going there again, and second, my daughter Jenny said she would love to go with me, and agreed to make all the arrangements as long as we could stay for an extra day or two so she could see Madrid.  As it happened, it was the best decision I could have made:  the wedding was fantastic, we had a great time both at the wedding and in Madrid, and Jenny and I were able to begin healing a chasm that has arisen between us due to her decision to divorce her husband of two years. My cousin also said that he was very grateful to have us share the celebration with his family, and thanked us often during the weekend for attending. In the end, it was the joy of being with the family at such a happy event that made the trip worthwhile.

"In Order to be a Good Christian, One Must First be a Good Jew"

I first read that statement  many years ago, on the dedication page of a novel whose title now escapes me. I always felt the truth of that statement, probably in part because I have Jewish cousins, and a Jewish uncle, a Polish emigre who married my mother's youngest sister,  whom I naturally felt very close to, even though I am Catholic. I was fortunate to have grown up in an unusually ecumenical family: my mother's parents were Irish immigrants whose six children all married people with different religious backgrounds, and all were welcomed into our family.  This was at a time when such ecumenism was unusual: the decade after the end of World War II  But the reason I mention this is because I recently started reading a book by Peter Kreet having to do with the Bible, and I wanted to share a passage with you in which he articulates what he  calls the miracle of the Jewish people.

The passage occurs during his discussion of Genesis, and it is thus:

"The call of Abraham [by God] in Genesis 12 comes right after the [story of the] Tower of Babel in chapter 11 to contrast man's way with God's way..... How reasonable the Tower of Babel sounds, and how silly the call of Abraham seems!  What a way to fight the serious battle against evil - to pick out one man, flawed like all of us, for a lifelong trek into the wilderness with no road map and no guarantees, only promises.  Yet this is the beginning of history's most public miracle: the Jewish people.  Their survival and continued rejuvenation, their unparalleled flourishing and achievements, out of all proportion to their tiny size and strength, violate every known law of history and sociology.  The more we consider their history, the more we are in awe at divine providence.  The more we open our eyes to see, the more we open our mouths to gasp."

I have read  that passage over and over again, and I am always profoundly moved by the power of his words. He illuminates the details of the Bible with a clarity and directness like nothing I have ever read before. This is just one example. The book is called "You Can Understand the Bible", and reading this book has assured me that he means it. And as for my Catholic faith, I believe that God first revealed Himself to the Jewish people, and they embraced the truth of Him, but when He revealed His Corporal Self, in the Person of His Son, that truth was received not by one people but by many peoples, who embraced that truth as well. As Christians, our first miracle lies in the birth of the Jewish people; our second miracle lies in the birth of Jesus. The history goes on.

The Power of the Media

What upsets me the most about politics these days is how much influence the mainstream media has over the public perception of government, and which party is responsible for gridlock.  This time it's over the funding of Planned Parenthood: Republicans want to defund it for a year so that an investigation can be conducted into its abortion practices.  This seems to be a reasonable request to me, given the awful practices that have come to light about them recently. Democrats in the Senate have already vowed to reject that request, and President Obama has vowed to veto any budget that excludes the funding, and yet the media asserts that it will be the Republicans who will be responsible for a government shut-down if it occurs. This is outrageous to me.  Why are we funding Planned Parenthood anyway? It is not a government program, it's supposed to be a charity. I can't think of another charity that is funded to this extent by the federal government. If there is a government shut-down it will be because the Democrats refuse to compromise yet again on anything that Republicans want, not the other way around, and yet, the media will continue to spin the truth in Obama's favor. Why can't more people see this?

The Politics of the Pope

As Catholics, we are taught that the Pope is God's Messenger on earth, the direct spiritual descendant of St. Peter.  He speaks for God, and his statements regarding religion are infallible. Some people mistakenly believe that this means that anything the Pope says is infallible, but this is not true.  How, then, to interpret  Pope Francis's most recent statements regarding global warming, which he believes is caused by humans, and the crisis of migrants in Europe, which he asserts is the result of humans worshiping the God of Money. Not once has he come out in opposition to the Islamist extremist terrorists who have precipitated this crisis. He keeps advocating a redistribution of wealth, rather than the pursuit of it, which is a Marxist doctrine, not a Biblical one. Throughout the Bible, especially the New Testament, Jesus advocates freely giving and sharing, not forced redistribution. I think that Pope Francis is overstepping his position as head of the Catholic Church and is making political matters into spiritual ones. I wonder what God thinks of all this?

The Double Standard in Politics

For at least the last ten or fifteen years, and maybe longer (I wasn't paying much attention to politics before that), there has been a double standard in politics, fueled in large part, I believe, by a media establishment that has become increasingly and obviously biased in favor of Democrat/Liberal/Socialist ideology. If you're a Democrat and you change your mind about some political or social issue, the media says you have "evolved", as when Mr. Obama changed his mind and decided that same-sex marriage was OK after all.  However, if you're a Republican and you change your mind about something, maybe even the same issue, the same media types accuse you of "waffling". The inevitable conclusion one must draw is that Republicans are weak and don't know what they believe, while Democrats are strong and evolutionary in what they believe. It's not just the media who do this, either: I cannot remember another president who has invoked as many negative and condemning epithets at the opposition party members, in this case Republicans, as Mr. Obama has. He blames Republicans for everything that does not go his way, conveniently ignoring the many times he declares that he will veto virtually anything that Republicans send to his desk. And I can't even count how many times Republicans have been accused of being against "Immigration", conveniently leaving out the adjective "Illegal", both by the media and by the Democrats. It's so unfair. Why are these people allowed to get away with this? Our Founding Fathers deliberately wrote into the Constitution the right and responsibility of  the Press to be the Watchdogs of Government: that's what a free press is supposed to do, and that is part of what the First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees.  a free press is not supposed to take sides, they're supposed to report the news and can criticize the actions of our government without fear of retribution, unlike many countries in the world, especially those in the Middle East and Eastern Europe. One of the things the press should be criticizing is the repeated tendency of this Administration to ignore and/or fail to enforce the Federal laws on the books, especially those regarding immigration, marijuana and even Obamacare, which was supposed to include the insurance requirement for businesses beginning in 2015, but which Mr. Obama unilaterally postponed by Executive Fiat until after he leaves office.  Very politically convenient, if you ask me.  No one in the Mainstream Media seems to be concerned about this, but if a Republican did this, the media would be all over it. The Double Standard. I fervently hope that this country finally gets smart and elects a Republican as the next president.  I can hardly wait to see what the mainstream media will do with that.

A Death in the Family

I am in mouring. I am grieving over the loss (by divorce) of my dearly-loved son-in-law. My daughter, after only two years of marriage, one of which was spent apart from her husband due to a military deployment, decided that she didn't love him, wasn't happy any more, and wanted a divorce. I just don't understand this generation.  She took vows.  They mean nothing.  She isn't the only one I know about who just walked away from a marriage because of "unhappiness".  My daughter's husband didn't beat her, didn't do drugs, wasn't a criminal, and loved her very much.  She had no other reason to divorce him than that she was "unhappy".  He had a good job, but she didn't think he could support her.  She was in the military, he is a civilian, and she resented the fact that she had to resign from Active Duty and go into the  Reserves so that  he could continue to keep his job and pay off his student loans. Apparently that sacrifice was too much for her to make for the sake of her marriage. He is devastated, and so are we in the family from which he is being summarily dismissed. She wrote us all a letter explaining why she was doing this, and letting us all know that she did not want to hear our criticisms, as she felt that her own self-criticism was enough.  She's damaged a good man, who does not understand why this had to happen.  She has said herself that she treated him shamefully while she was coming to this decision, probably in some delusion that maybe he would make the decision to get a divorce first and she would be absolved. She's damaged her parents and siblings, who also can't understand why this has happened. I do not know this woman.  She should have learned the importance of commitment both from direct instruction and from the role models she had growing up. The worst part of this is that I feel guilty, thinking that somehow I should have been better at teaching her about commitment.  This goes against everything I believe in.  I keep apologizing to God for not being able to fix this.  I am miserable, mostly because of what it has done to our son-in-law. My eldest son  called this a death in the family for those who are not the husband or wife, and I think he is right. I know that there are five stages of grieving before the final acceptance.  I am in the devastation stage.  Frankly, I can't see ever accepting this, but maybe with enough time it will happen.

Love and Marriage

Up until a few years ago, it seemed that marriages mostly took place in church, but even those that didn't were still treated as covenants, or promises - vows, if you will - made by two people to love, honor, and stay with each other forever. I had a discussion recently with a young man who told me that, in his view, marriage was a  contract, or agreement, that either party could break at any time and for any reason.  I found that a rather convenient redefining of the marital state, although he hastened to add that he and his wife had already agreed that their contract would, nevertheless, be unbroken. This, however,is his second marriage: his first ended in divorce when his first wife decided that she was not happy and  did  not want to be married, at least not to him. He was devastated, of  course, but related a story to me that I found very interesting: he said that, even before his wife told him she wanted a divorce, he knew they were not happy, but he was willing and able to accept that state in an effort to preserve the marriage: in other words, he was ready to honor his vows, or his contract if  you prefer; it was his wife who  was not willing to work on the marriage.  Although he eventually met and married a wonderful woman and is a very happy husband and father, he says that his one regret is that he still doesn't know the real reason why his first wife divorced him. I have heard other young men express similar thoughts, and I have come to observe that many men do not think the same way that women do about marriage; to them, it seems, just being unhappy does not justify breaking up a marriage.  Women, on the other hand, expect to be happy, and often will not work on something  that becomes less  than perfect.  People have always gotten divorced, but the reasons used to be more grave, like one of the partners being a drug addict, or violent, or a spendthrift.  Sometimes I think that divorce has gotten too easy and too accepted.  There is something to be said for working through a problem, and no marriage is always happy, but many women simply don't understand that, "This, too, shall pass".  Because of this, they miss out on the feelings of success and strength of character that surviving or overcoming adversity brings. So sad.

Faith

"I believe in God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible....." Thus begins the Nicene Creed, which is professed by Catholics around the world whenever attending Mass. It is the creed that delineates the central beliefs of Christianity as interpreted by Catholics, but which are essentially the same tenets as those held by all Christians, no matter what denomination they belong to. God is the creator of all things, and therefore all things are sacred. Life is sacred. At some point in time life itself was created. Not life from life, but life from NO life. Most religions have this belief at their core, not just Christianity. Nevertheless, scientists are searching for what they call the God Particle, which would explain how life could come from no life, but so far they haven't quite discovered it. The last I heard was that they were zeroing in on some magnetic field through which passing particles change from no life to maybe life, but only because they think it might be so, not because there is any actual evidence.  It sometimes amazes me that people will go to such lengths to try and prove that there is no God, but then, there are apparently many people who think that they are the greatest example of life, that there is no greater, that everything that can't be explained scientifically must have happened by chance. Why not by God?Why not a physical world and a spiritual world? Humans are such egotists.Various theories of evolution, while imperfect, do not of themselves preclude or contradict the existence of a Divine Creator, since all life must have at some distant time in the past, not existed at all, and yet, here we are. What a puzzle.

Humans built this church, but they did it for God

 

Politics

I find it odd that no matter who talks about "comprehensive immigration reform", no one actually states what needs to be fixed.  Aside from securing the borders, no one seems to have a clear understanding about just what the present immigration laws say, or if they are even enforced correctly.  The only other aspect of immigration that is talked about extensively without solving anything is illegal immigration: how to stop it, and how to deal with those who are already here. 

 I have a suggestion for how to begin addressing that issue as far as those who are already here, and it is this:  start with the illegal immigrants who are employed, and have every employer verify whether or not every one has a Green Card and is a legal immigrant. If any employees who are immigrants cannot produce a Green Card, they should immediately be identified to the employer, who then fills out a form saying that the employee is duly employed and needs a  Work Permit. This form should be sent immediately to the Department of Immigration, who then will issue a Work Permit to the employee, just like applying for a Passport. This Work Permit should entitle the employee to then apply for Permanent Resident Status, or citizenship if that's how the steps progress, but in the meantime that person will be documented, at least, and thus be legally in this country.  Meanwhile, all illegal immigrants who have been convicted of crimes, either in their home country or in the U.S., should be deported.

I think that giving employers the power to apply for work permits for their workers will incentivize illegal immigrants to apply for work. It will also get many of them off the government dole, while helping to remove the stigma of hiding from the Feds if they are in this country illegally. It would also take the onus off the businesses who hire them, as long as those businesses  can apply for the work permits without danger of punishment. However, it will only work as long as more people can't come across the border without proper papers.  In other words, the border needs to be tightened.  I know that there are fewer people entering here illegally than in the past, but in my opinion there is still too much emphasis on "immigrant" and not enough emphasis on "illegal"  Laws are laws, and they should be enforced.  That's what I think; Now if only I can get a few courageous politicians to follow through on this.....

Welcome to My Blog

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a practicing Catholic, and have been so for all of my life.  I believe in the sanctity of life, from conception to its natural end. I am  a proud American who believes in the Free-Market system, the Constitution, One Nation Under God, and Personal Responsibility.

I am  a second-generation Irish-American, and am proud of my Irish heritage. I'm a wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, and friend. I'm a retired math teacher who still substitutes in the school district from which I retired. I  am a retired professional musician who still plays in a community band, and I also sing in an Irish folk group. I love photography, computers, books, and being a news junkie (I listen to or watch news off and on all day long, read the local newspapers,  several news magazines and a couple of national newspapers, especially the financial ones, which are far less biased than the non-financial ones).

I started this blog because every once in a while I like to vent.  I tried Twitter, but it's too limiting:  I can't fit my thoughts into only 140 characters, in part simply because I'm a stickler for the proper use of grammar and spelling, virtually impossible on Twitter.  I'm on Facebook, but feel uncomfortable about posting anything on a social site that is controversial, although sometimes I have been known to post a link to a contrarian article on the opposite side of Political Correctness. I don't know if anyone will ever feel like reading anything I post here but, curiously, I'm OK with that. On the other hand, it would be nice to know that someone else likes what I say, so if there is anyone out there who wants to follow me, that would be good, too. Welcome to my blog.

My Town, My Country