To Ask or Not to Ask

Labor Day Weekend is coming up in a few days. In most families, this is a time for gathering together for the last cook-out (unless you live in a year-round warm climate) before Autumn and falling leaves.  In my family, there seems to be no awareness of this activity unless I invite my kids to come.  Actually, this seems to be the case for all holidays.  Since the demise of the grandparents, it seems that family time is just not a priority with my kids, with the possible exception of Ryan.  Labor Day is no different.  As usual, I had to ask Kevin if he and Julia would be able to come down for any part of the weekend, but they said no, they had other plans.  Ryan and Katharine accepted the invitation and said they had Sunday available, so we will have the cook-out then. Ryan does better than the other two at keeping in touch: he lives in town and checks in several times a week.  I just realized that I didn't even ask Jenny, and realized further that if I had, she probably would have declined as well. It's an all-day drive from Virginia.  I might have thought to ask her if she had contacted us any time in the last few weeks, but I guess she's too busy to think of her parents. In my fantasy, it is my kids who are asking us if we want to get together with them for a holiday before they make other plans, not us always asking them. Maybe they don't think that family gatherings at any time other than Thanksgiving or Christmas are important. They are wrong. It hurts to be so ignored by them.